Hello, friend. It’s been a while. This year alone has been full of challenges, setbacks, new adventures, and growth. It’s not easy getting out of the military into this big world. Nothing can prepare you for getting older, developing certain illnesses, or being able to function in the regular workforce, etc.

I want to share this in order to guide the making of new goals. Here are the top things that I’ve learned this year:

1. Not Everything Will Go Your Way

If life were that perfect, then things would be easier, right? Wrong. We aren’t robots. No matter how hard society tries to make people become this perfect, coordinated person, it just isn’t human.

There are many factors outside of our control. For example, this year, I jumped the gun and started an LLC, thinking that I’d have a ton of sales and would need protection. But the truth is that what I really needed was to hone my craft better so that people would trust me and make purchases for my book and paintings.

In reality, selling on the biggest platform on earth isn’t so bad (Amazon). I’d gotten advice from someone who just wanted to make money off me from their courses to make my own website. She said, “Invest in your brand,” blah, blah, blah. Which takes me to my next point.

2. Don’t Listen To People Who Do Not Know Your Situation

A lot of people on social media are also trying to make money. Hence, the billions of ads we see each time we click on a video. Small business owners are often targeted because let’s face it, most of us don’t have any clue what we are doing. I can admit that.

Experience is the best teacher. You don’t need to pay two-thousand dollars for a stupid course, mostly fluff, about improving your website and social media following. I’ve seen it firsthand that the people who work hard and figure out their own way end up winning.

3. Stop Trying So Hard To Be Someone You’re Not

Introversion is part of who I am, whether others like it or not. I cannot be more outgoing or invite people over constantly, mostly because when I was in the military, I’d gotten used to being away from everyone.

This past year, I joined a few small groups that were awesome at first, but soon I got burnt out being fake and attending when I truly didn’t want to. One of them was a writer’s group that didn’t really see any value in my contribution. Then a Bible group I joined just made it awkward for me. There’s nothing I hate more than being forced to speak.

What I’m trying to say is just be you. Going above and beyond is for the birds. Comfort and growth are the more important things. Sometimes, we just need to let go of those loose ends that aren’t serving our well-being.

4. Creativity Doesn’t Have A Schedule

Corporate America has forced us all to get into this horrible on-the-clock schedule. Most cultures don’t nearly look at the time as much as we do. Being on time all the time is not that important.

Honestly, in my life, I’ve given up on set schedules. They never work. If I tell myself to start writing in the early morning, I might not have as much motivation as if I had taken my precious time making mushroom coffee, doing my Bible reading, going on a hike, having brunch, etc.

When creativity comes, just go for it—don’t wait. Even if it’s at 3 A.M. or in the middle of a bathroom break. Write it down if you’re at work and get to it as soon as you arrive at home. Lack of motivation happens too easily among creatives.

5. Take Care Of Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health

No one can do it for you. For years, I’d been taking care of everyone else on an empty tank. Now, when I’m sick, I take it so seriously as if my life depends on it.

When anxious, do a quick meditation or just breathe. When sad, go hug someone you love or do a ten-minute-workout. When angry, listen to calming music or distract yourself with a fun game. When tired, take a thirty-minute to two-hour nap. Stressed beyond measure? Go for a nice hike.

Spiritual health is so important as well. The times that I’m not doing my meditations or spending time in prayer, I feel so much more anxious than usual. It starts to affect my everyday life. Then burnout happens.

Focusing on one sole thing is not necessarily good. There has to be a balance of all things. Just enough to make sure all the needs are being taken care of.

To wrap this up, I pray that you learn from my mistakes. That this new year brings you lots of success and meaningful moments.

By the way, I wanted to mention the new website, which contains links to Amazon for my latest book Hatred For Bugs an adventure of a lifetime. My mini original paintings are also linked to Amazon. Here is the shop link: Shop

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Until next time! Have a blessed month and happy reading!

Victoria Loria